joreth (joreth) wrote in polywon,
joreth
joreth
polywon

I'm In Another Article!

This time, on Tango, an online women's magazine.

http://www.yourtango.com/20086005/compersion-for-beginners?page=0%2C0#tabs-mini-panel-story_video_content-middle-1

It's a short article, but I think it's quite well done.  The author makes it clear from the beginning that she is not poly, but the tone of the article remains neutral-to-positive.  She didn't horribly misquote me (only the first quote she attributes to me isn't a direct quote - more of a paraphrase, but everything else is as close as I can remember) and she simply laid out our stories without negative judgement, which is exactly the kind of attitude she had while interviewing me.  She focused on the positive aspects of poly, namely compersion, which, frankly, I think doesn't get enough attention.  Everyone wants to know about jealousy and I think they ought to know that jealousy doesn't have to rule their lives.

As I told Anita, neutral-to-positive is, I think, the best kind of article for polyamory.  If the article is too encouraging, it could discourage non-poly people from reading it, encourage them to dismiss us entirely, as being too far away for them to empathize with, or even imply that we're trying to take over the world and we're out to get them (which, of course, only encourages their fear of us).  But a positive-neutral merely lets people know that we're out there and there's nothing wrong with us, nothing to be afraid of, just that we're here.  Non-poly people can go about their business after learning a little more about who we are, and poly-curious people can learn who we are and, possibly, what they are too, and were to find others like them.

As many of us activists have said over and over again, we're not out to "convert" people (besides that really being impossible - if you're not poly, you're not poly, if you're latent-poly, there's nothing to convert), we're just here to educate and question.  Monogamy is a perfectly acceptable choice, providing it is a conscious and informed choice and the participants are happy.  My goal in being an activist and putting myself out in the media's eye is simply to calm the fears of the majority of the public, who are the ones who hold all the power.  If they are not afraid of me, they will be less likely to use their power to harm me and those like me.  All I really want is for poly people to be allowed to live their lives in peace.  I want people's lifestyle "closets" to be voluntary, not made out of fear.  And in order for that to happen, I lay my life out to public scrutiny so that others won't have to in the future.

So go, comment favorably and let editors know that these kinds are articles are well-received so that they'll do more!

Other poly articles I have appeared in:

http://www.wired.com/culture/lifestyle/commentary/sexdrive/2008/02/sexdrive_0229

http://www.orlandoweekly.com/features/story.asp?id=11652
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