alumiere (alumiere) wrote in polywon,

Thought provoking...

These were linked in the bipolypagangeek community, but I thought they should be spread here too...

"And my response to the OP is:

The first post was excellent, and yes, I've experienced all of those things: bi is a phase, bi doesn't exist, the slut shaming, the you can't be bi you're too girly/sexy/etc. But as I've also been active since High School in the LGBTQ community (back when BTQ weren't really part of the community at all), and I flirt with both sexes when I'm out I suspect it's pretty obvious to people who see me regularly.

I also told my family eons ago (went to climb in the gay games; didn't want them to find out via TNT broadcast), all my friends know, and it's public on my journal, myspace, facebook, etc. Bisexual and polyamorous are part of my identity, and that's not going to change.

I do have some big problems with the article on oppression though. I can no more turn off being bi than a hetro man can turn off being straight. And not only do straight people judge me, but gays and lesbians too. I find the LGBTQ community to often be totally intolerant to the bi part of our community, to be unwelcoming to me personally because I present as a rather feminine woman, and because I date both men and women.

The whole my oppression is worse than your oppression attitude in that piece made me incredibly angry. Bisexual means you get shit from both straights and gays all too often. Add in a "dainty punk" appearance, and a total lack of interest in monogamy and everyone has something to say, a reason to judge you as being wrong.

But then again, I also get pissed at "faux lesbians" - their boyfriends think it's hot to see them make out with another women, that's the only time they're interested and they have no intention of going further. They aren't really attracted to women, and usually wouldn't make out with another girl except that they're fairly drunk and their male partner is egging them on.

Sorry if this seems a bit disjointed; a lot of ground to cover here.

Do any of you have thoughts on these topics?
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